On marriage.

If you are for opposite-sex marriage and against same-sex marriage, that makes you homophobic. I don’t care how lovely and nice you are, what a wonderful Christian or happy Conservative you are, I don’t care if you’re a 15 year old boy or a 75 year old granny. If you do not want people to be able to marry the person they love just because they are both the same gender, that means you are homophobic.

It’s really, genuinely that simple. You can throw excuses of Biblical references at it if you want (but you’d better be putting your wife in a tent until she’s off her period if that’s your excuse). You can say it’s undermining the sanctity of marriage but I bet you can all name someone who’s cheated on their husband, or is on their third wife.

You can claim that people get married in order to reproduce but I pity you if that was the reason you decided to marry your spouse (“she’s got good child-baring hips!” “he looks nice and fertile!”) and then of course what about all the couples who can’t or don’t want to have children? I’m hoping the human race has moved on a bit from simply partnering in order to mate. We are not a pack of lions.

Or you can be honest and say that you find the whole gay thing a bit icky, and that two men holding hands is a bit weird, and that you’re not really sure how it all works and HEY, GUESS WHAT, OVER HERE, WHY ARE YOU ONLY THINKING ABOUT SEX? Same-sex partners have arguments and cook meals and buy houses and go shopping and go on holiday and have jobs and furniture and LIVES just like anyone else. I read somewhere that it seems that those who are anti-gay seem to think a lot more about gay sex than gay people do. I’m inclined to agree.

Marriage is a social construct. It does not occur in nature. It is something humans created for legal and sometimes spiritual purposes. And at the end of the day, if you don’t agree with same-sex marriage, don’t marry someone who is the same sex as you. That’s really the only way it will affect you. The country won’t fall, morality won’t collapse, the Horsemen of the Apocalypse won’t appear, you won’t walk down the street seeing men in tiny shorts snogging each other on every street corner (although that really does depend on where you live).

Just because, for some unknown reason, you find something offensive it does not mean that it shouldn’t be allowed. I find rich Tories offensive but I don’t want them to be made illegal (although now I think about it…) Same-sex marriage will not harm anyone any more than opposite-sex marriage does.

*I do not like the term “gay marriage” as that implies you have to be gay to marry someone of the same sex as you. This is not the case – you could identify as any number of things, or as none as all. I am in an opposite-sex marriage but I would not class it as a heterosexual marriage.

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