Happy International Not-Men Day: men won’t disappear if you stop talking about them

Yesterday was International Women’s Day! And how did we know that? By telling everyone when International Men’s Day was.

This issue has been happening for a few years. IWD turns up and a bunch of people get miffed and ask “When’s International Men’s Day then huh? HUH?” The ideal response being “well, every day is International Men’s Day” but the literal response being “It’s November 19th”.

This year people were ready. They knew when IMD was, they were ready to tweet the date out, to say “Look, you DO have a day all to yourself as well! Don’t complain!” And that’s how Twitter spent most of International Women’s Day talking about International Men’s Day.

This happens a lot. Someone will write a Facebook post about how it’s International Women’s Day and give a shout out to all the amazing women they know, Someone will reply saying “And the men too!” It’s the same mindset of #BlackLivesMatter being turned into #AllLivesMatter – “don’t forget about me!”

B_ka-oSWIAAWi85

An appropriate image for yesterday.

We know there are good men who do good things. But spending a day talking about women will not make those men disappear. It won’t make the good things they do go away. We just want to spend one day talking about something else: namely, women. If someone has a birthday and everyone gets them gifts, do you moan that it’s not fair because you didn’t get any gifts? No, of course not, you’re a decent human being. It’s not your day.

There’s a reason I didn’t write this blog entry yesterday. And that’s because I didn’t want to spend International Women’s Day talking about men. It isn’t their day. Men are very capable of standing up for themselves – we do not need to spend our day reassuring them that we know they still matter too. Men are capable of managing their egos enough so they don’t fall apart when we spend one day not talking about them. Women don’t have a duty to placate men with “it’s ok, we’ll talk about you soon I promise!”

So, next International Women’s Day, talk about women. Talk about how wonderful they are. Not talking about men for one day will not make them disappear. Women deserve to be talked about without reference to men. Pass the Bechdel test, ladies. Celebrate yourselves.

Happy International Women’s Day 2015!!

Advertisements